I have create quite a lot of art about what it means to be a twin, my relationship with her and the affects it has on me as an individual, however I didn’t consider that it may be hard for people to determine whether my art involves my twin or not at the moment. I guess I am so focused on my own emotions and self-expression that I have not really thought about her as an influence on my self-portraiture.
‘Twin portraiture and double portraits are particularly important in African and African diaspora cultures where twins are celebrated as individuals with perfect knowledge of each other and as emissaries with the ability to traverse the physical and spiritual worlds.’ (Donna Gustafson, Susan Sidlauskas).
My identity and trait of my personality all stem from the fact that I am a twin, I would not be the same if I was born without her and subsequently everything about my self relates to it. However, I think I have overcome a lot of my issues that surfaced from the pressures of being a twin and the emotional issues I have had due to competition and over-shadowing, therefore it is isn’t something I feel the need to explore within my work at the moment. It is rewarding to be completely focused on my own self, and my identity only, as a separate entity to molly.
I have been writing a lot as a way to release tension and to understand the things I am feeling but I have decided to write one page in my sketchbook every day to be used within my work.
Tonight I filled one A4 page and the writing took its own journey as I wrote exactly what I was thinking. I felt a lot more relieved after expressing myself, and this personal journey is something that would be interesting to see evolve over several days or weeks. One piece a day will show the change in my writing and what I write about.
I am thinking of making art about these:
- Collaging them under portraits – just slightly visible to an audience
- Making them illegible or difficult to read
- Archiving in some way, making a collection
In the gap crit I added one of my mirror pieces I made last year with illegible text written on it into the display – placing it on the easel holding my new painting so it partially covers it. I did this last minute to just give an idea of using mirrors, but it really stirred up some interesting feedback from the audience.
Most of the group said the positioning of the mirror took away from the painting, distracted from it and they (correctly) thought it wasn’t made to be with the painting. However, a few took from it the aspect of their reflection in the mirror whilst looking at the piece: they took from it ‘how do we affect grace?’, ‘how do our actions impact her view on herself?’ and an overall representation of the fact that we all influence each others lives whether we are aware of it or not. The way the audience sees themselves in the mirror also makes them confront themselves; up close and personal self analysis in the way I am doing through my art.
How the work was displayed in 2nd year:
I am really I made a last minute decision to place the mirror there as it really brought up some interesting ideas and in the future, if I have any ideas I am unsure of or are a little out there, I will use the gap crit to get feedback on it.
I volunteered for our first Gap Crit of 3rd year this week where the class discussed my work without my input and talked about what they got from it. After 10-15 minutes they involved me into the conversation and were able to ask me questions and discover how I felt about their observations.
The work I presented:
I displayed the final painting on the easel I am using for it and this actually gave off a good idea of the ongoing process of my work – how it is about the making of it and journey, that it may never be finished.
The audience and myself all perceived that this shows how learning about ourselves will never be completely finished, that there is no clear decision or representation of our own identity as it is always evolving.
A comparison between the drawings and the paintings
The groups view of them:
The drawings appeared to be made as practices for the paintings. They show me scrutinising over my own face and carefully creating each detail, a very up close and personal analysis; the paintings less anatomical and more emotional.
The drawings came across objective, the paintings emotive- not trying to be realistic or accurate but to represent a tangible physical thing. One person said it felt as if you could touch my face, as if I was really there in the paint – a physical object. I am happy with this reaction from the audience.
What I explained:
The drawings were never a plan for the paintings or in anyway relating to them, they were separate entities exploring myself in a different way. The paintings and drawings should work together to show a wide range of self-analysis and discovery, an ongoing journey. The materials used are not carefully picked out, measured or stressed over, which represents the need to just draw, to get things down onto paper or in paint so I can express myself.
The illegible text on the mirror and in the paintings made the group want to look in closer and showed how I only show the audience what I decide them to see. It provokes the thought ‘Do we ever know the true self?’ ‘Do we really know the subject/artist?’
In my current work I am focusing more on the development of my self-portraits and the different layers of design, rather than aesthetics and composition of the final product.
Obviously there is thought put into the layout of the features, where I place text and what colours I use, but I have been letting my immediate ideas take control rather than scrutinising over each detail.
The most challenging aspect of this is knowing when to stop, when to leave parts blank or add paint, to leave the sketches of the drawing visible to show the process or to bring out the details. I am trying to give myself time away from the painting I am working on to see it from a different light, or even alternate between two pieces.